I have been biting my nails all day long. Thinking about the day we met. Under a lotus you said “hello” to me. Your first hello.
I remember the first time I looked at you, I froze. “ Good Lord! She is so ugly!” I exclaimed looking towards the sky. My first reaction.
And that day at the recording studio as you sat beside me listening to some very bad singing you looked up at me and said, “ Get me a CD of this song.”
Ten days later I sang that very song to you. As you sat looking like an angel at the “dargah”. And I left God’s embrace and kissed you with my eyes on that moonlit wintry night.
That puppy at the hill station. We held him together like proud parents. You wanted to keep it. Bring him home. I dissuaded you. And like a child you fell into my arms. I can still feel that warmth around my heart.
And your first gift. A CD full of songs.
And then to sing a song together. At night and then in the morning. Shivering. Rubbing hands.
And you remember the new year wish that you made for me? I lost it a year later.
And I lost many a thing a year later.
And today, three years later, here I am. I have lost you. I have lost my friends. I have lost everything but my soul.
I lost everything and found love. Love in such abundance that I have no other choice than to give it all away.
I am lonely. And I remember Waheeda Rehman saying-“ Those who love the world lead lonely lives.” And I remember, her eyes were moist when she said that.
I love you. Love you mon chere petite etoile!!!!!
