If only I could

If only I could join every second together
Of my life and compose a song
How would it sound?
Would it be sweet or would it be sad?
Or would it be an infinite silence?

If only I could have held on
To her hand and promised her!
That I could forsake the world for her
And love her like the henpecked moon
Loves the ever shining sun!

If only I could understand my heart
And its rhythmic beats
Like raindrops falling off the gulmohar
And kissing the earth
I would have knelt and embraced her.

I could never grasp
The wisdom of my soul
Intoxicated was I by the fragrance of your being
Real or illusion
I wish I could!

If only I could have got my act together
My dear ones would have felt less pain
I was selfish and lacked courage
And my life’s residue?
A void.