Disconnected

“ The Vodafone number you have dialed has been temporarily disconnected.”

I look at the receiver and dial the number once again.
This time very cautiously. Pressing the numbers harder than the first time.

Once again I hear the same message- “ The Vodafone number you have dialed has been temporarily disconnected.”

I hold on longer and hear the same message being repeated in hindi.

I hang up.

I look at the phone. I smile.
And its my smile that pinches my heart.

I sit down. Recompose myself by ordering a cup of tea.
I walk towards the work area of the bakery. See the boys working there listening to an old hindi film song on the radio.

They look at me and smile. A tray of fresh cookies surfaces from the oven.
A fresh tear from my eye.

My heart – Fahrenheit 451.

My smile like a nagging wife reminds me that this love is going to consume me.

I look at my phone again. Feel sorry for it. It had its day. And not so long ago when it would receive and send messages to her. Then there were other times when it had been courted by her sweet “hellos” and mellifluous voice.

All that now seem like “ Once upon a time…”

Old loves do not end up at archeology departments. You find them first lying on a psychiatrist’s couch and later sitting blankly in a mental asylum.

My wifey smile with great effort reminds me once again that right now I am sitting with a blank look on my face.
I close my eyes and see cookies and biscuits baking inside of me. I open my eyes and my tea arrives.

One of the bakery boys comes over and hands me a cookie. I thank him and take a bite.
It tastes like my tear.

I look at her number on my phone.

“ Should I erase it?”- a question arises.
Like she has erased me from her life.

I decide against it. At least I have her number. Her old number. Her defunct number. Yet her number.

Sometimes all that would remain at the end of this journey might be this number.

A defunct number that connects to my heart.
A disconnected number that rings up my dreams

I return to my smile. Finish my cup of tea and sing along with the old hindi film song being played on the radio.

“ Woh shaam kuch ajeeb thi…yeh shaam bhi ajeeb hai…woh kal bhi paas paas thi….woh aaj bhi kareeb hai…”